How Expectations Get In Your Way.
You will never exceed your expectations (not for long anyway).
Do you agree?
That statement really resonates with me and I think that my expectations are how I really do self-sabotage myself. I see it in others too (heck it’s always easier to see self-sabotage in others more than in ourselves).
Here’s how EXPECTATIONS wreak havoc on our sense of joy, fulfillment and satisfaction.
1. TOO LOW
You are constantly envisioning what could go wrong and believing that if shit could hit the fan…it will. Stories from past negative experiences keep you safe and comfortable from taking risk in the here and now….which reduces your ability to expand your life experience in the way you actually want it to. You are not necessarily a negative person. Rather you are cautious to the point that it shackles your ability to take risk and create soul centred momentum. And as a result you feel frustrated.
2. TOO HIGH
Guilty as charged! Most often for me the area of trouble I get into (and where I create most of self-induced drama and stress for myself) is anything to do with RELATIONSHIPS. Can you relate? And when my expectations are not met….stories are created. And these stories DO NOT necessarily represent reality but rather a blend of past experience combined with current feelings. It can be blender of self-sabotage emulsifying the joy of the here and now (if you let it).
3 CONTROL
So much of the anxiety, stress and crap we put ourselves through (AKA self-sabotage) is around the control we expect to have. Control over other people, our kids, how the house runs, co-workers, promotions….really anything that life throws at us. In so many of my clients I see that this control thing can really get in the way of enjoying life. And BTW when I say control what I mean is our need to have things proceed, turn out and/or develop the way we want it to (or think it should). There’s just so much to life that we have NO SAY over that an inability to adapt, be flexible and “roll with the punches” can be extremely detrimental to your life experience. This is why I spend so much time in my coaching focusing on this really important LifeTool: be more committed to your evolution than your goals. This one concept was a serious game-changer for me. I hope it serves you.
4. FAKE
Ok. So you say you want to find a stable loving relationship. Or you say you want to increase your biz sales by $50,000 or your downline by 20 people (network marketing) or you want to spend more time with your kids and work less. Fake expectations are empty expectations…built on wants and not true beliefs.
DO YOU BELIEVE YOU DESERVE TO FIND AND MAINTAIN THAT STABLE LOVING RELATIONSHIP?
DO YOU BELIEVE YOU DESERVE TO IMPROVE YOUR BUSINESS AND INCREASE PROFITS?
DO YOU TRULY, DEEP-DOWN BELIEVE YOU ARE CAPABLE AND WORTHY OF CREATING THE LIFE AND SUCCESS YOU SAY YOU WANT?
#4 is the real tricky one because it is hidden beneath lots of layers of our own bullshit and self-preserving instincts. But here’s the thing….when you recognize your core beliefs about what you BELIEVE you deserve you can actually change them. I can help you with this process.
So, for me, the thought that I will never exceed my expectations (nor for long anyway) absolutely rings true. How about for you?
